Mark 14:36 “Abba, Father,” he said, “Everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me.Yet not what I will, but what you will.
Last summer, while I was deep in prayer and seeking only God’s will for me, a vision sailed in out of the blue. I could never fit all the details into this piece. But this vision has proved unusually profound, and has required a complete “180” in perspective. Not a change in values or principles. Rather an intensification of principles, and a completely unexpected way they were to play out … if I chose the path revealed. Even more daunting was that this ironic vision would be long-term, demanding, incredible staying power, which in turn would require a steady faith.
“No problem,” I thought. “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done.” So once the surprise wore off, I jumped right in, enthusiastic about this new assignment. Oh, but we know God refines us by those not-so-fast trials, when it seems maybe God got it wrong somehow, or we misunderstood. That is when we become Peter walking on the water to Jesus, telling ourselves this cannot be real. When we look down and start to slip and sink. Uh-oh … “What was I thinking, stepping out on just a prayer?”
But through His own anguished wrestling with His most sacred mission, Christ has provided for me, for us, an amazing example of what we must do in times of uncertainty if we truly want God’s will. We must seek Him at the first sign of slipping faith, ask for a renewal of it, then use what tools He provides. In my case, prayer often dictates the lyrics and music of certain songs as the means for me back to the upright position, ready once again to advance in faith more powerful, more certain than ever.
Prayer: Gracious Lord, who sees the bigger picture and who understands better than me the greater good for all, who knows first-hand the human vulnerability of my soul, please give me this day all I need to stand again and walk onward any time I falter back in reasoning and doubt. Amen.